If/Then

The other day Ivy and I had a conversation that went like this:

Me: If you can put all your clothes away in your dresser, you can have a cookie.
Ivy: That OK Mom, I watch you eat a cookie.
Now you a probably thinking, wow she is clearly bribing her daughter to do things, and it's not even working! But I don't really like to think of many of our conversations as bribes, I like to think of them as those If/Then statements I learned about in high school.

For example:

If you put your clothes away, Then you can have a cookie.
If you brush your teeth, Then I'll read you a book.
If you eat dinner, Then you can have dessert.
If you throw that at me, Then I will take it away.
If you scream in the house, Then I will stuff you in the garbage can.
If you wake your little sister up one more time, Then my head will explode.


Ivy put her clothes away, all by herself, for the first time ever, about fifteen minutes after our conversation. Then she came down stairs and asked for her cookie. I happily handed it over, mentally added one more chores to Ivy's list, and thought about thanking that math teacher in high school. Then I remembered the grade I got in that class, figured I probably have the whole premise of the If/Then statements wrong, that he was one of my least favorite teachers ever, and decided bribery is a fine thing to call it!